WHERE DO I BEGIN?


'Funny when I feel afraid, I think of what a mess I've made of my life, crying over my mistakes, forgetting all the breaks I've had in my life.

This is my life.  We all have a story to tell and as I enter the second half century of my life I feel a pressing need to record my story.  From an ordinary, strict and spartan childhood growing up in the outer suburbs of Sydney, a loner and misfit from my earliest days. 

 A childhood filled with simple pleasures, outcast by choice and circumstance, victim of sexual abuse and schoolyard bullying.  Through my angst teenage years, desperately trying to fit in and finding solace in my own company, my surroundings and amongst the wrong sort of kids.  Rebellious, outrageous and lacking any clear direction.

A teenage runaway, street kid, prostitute, drag performer, prodigal son and back to prostitution, a life of partying, sex, drugs and music.

Battered boyfriend, madam, convicted criminal to reformed adult trying to correct my mistakes.

I've been a victim of attempted murder, beaten cancer, watched my partner waste away from HIV and witnessed and participated in things most people only see on television.

This story is about me and for me.  An attempt to put on record all the memories and experiences for which I now have very little to show for.  It is also a reminder to my peers of the life that many of us experienced, if only a part of, and a chance for younger readers to understand what our lives were like.

It will be both a chronological time-line and a fast forward of related themes.  Mostly it will be the about the experiences of a gay man desperately trying to find his place in life. Starting from the bushland suburbs of Sydney, to the seedy backstreets of Kings Cross, to amazing countries and travels and ending up where I am now in an exotic but impoverished country.

I will try and keep each post concise and as correct as I can remember.  I will use first names only and in some cases aliases to protect individuals.  Whether I write daily, weekly or somewhere in between remains to be seen.  But I promise you an adventure filled with highs and lows, memories of times past, and maybe even a few lessons along the way.......