EARLY GAYS....(part 2).

Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me.
Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things we can be.....

The 'Robert' incident had lasting consequences which would cement my character and behaviours for the rest of my childhood.

Firstly was my father's failed attempts to 'make a man out of me'.  From virtually ignoring me he took it upon himself to try and teach me to be 'macho'.  On the weekends he would have me working hard landscaping our garden, trying to teach me woodworking skills (he was now working in the building industry), showing me how to fix the car, take me to the rifle range to learn shooting.  All of these attempts were short lived. His utter lack of patience, quick temper and even quicker contempt of my inability to master these skills instantly just drove us further apart.

Secondly it sealed my reputation as the wicked boy of the neighbourhood.  Obviously my sisters friends told their parents and I was no longer welcome at any of the local kids homes.  Funnily enough none of the other kids seemed to care and we would still meet secretly in the bush and play when we could.  It was the parents who cared.  Was it me or was it just an excuse to get back at my mother?

Our neighbourhood was it's own little world where everyone knew each other and knew everyone's business.  Even though my mother tried hard to get involved in various neighbourhood activities her lack of tact and obvious snobbishness alienated her quickly from the resident locals.  On the surface she was all charm and smiles, but I can recall her tactlessly making disparaging remarks to different neighbours about other neighbours.  This of course all got back to them and I believe this was just their chance to retaliate.

Thirdly my sisters were even more reluctant to let me join in with their friends so I began to retreat happily by myself.  Either into books which I developed a passion for.  I'm sure by the end of primary school I had read every book in our house 3 times over.  From children's books (Enid Blyton was my favourite) to the classics such as Kidnapped, Treasure Island, to my mothers historical and romantic novels and the Encyclopedia.  I knew every country, it's capitol city, it's states, geography.....

Thankfully my school life was a complete contrast.  My school was wonderful.  Set in enormous grounds with large trees, expansive playgrounds and surrounded by bush on two sides.  I was in the same top class each year and my friends remained the same year in and year out.  Unfortunately due to the geography of our suburb spending time with my school friends, none of whom lived in our immediate neighbourhood was a rarity.  I was smart and for the first 5 years the teacher's pet in every class.

The neighbourhood rejection of me was best highlighted a few months later.  One of the families had just built an in-ground swimming pool - the first in our neighbourhood.  My sister's were invited along with all the other children except me.  The mother of the family had said to my mother that she was only inviting older children due to safety concerns.  Of course I trailed along behind my sisters and was devastated to see every kid around going in, some even younger than me. 

I ran home and cried and cried.  Eventually my mother phoned the other mother who reluctantly said I could come down and have a swim but only for 15 minutes.  I was so happy I ran all the way.  When I arrived Mrs C told all the kids they had to stop swimming and come and eat.  She then told me I could have a quick swim and then had to go.  Can you believe it.  How could any mother be so obviously and deliberately cruel.  I summoned up all my 7 year old pride and said 'no thank you I wanted to swim with my friends'.  She laughed and said 'well I gave you a chance so off you go'!

Now besides me there was one other boy who was a total outsider in our community.  I won't give his name.  He was 15 and considerably older than the rest of us.  His family were one of the original residents in our valley and besides being very poor and looked down upon by most of the residents, he had the added tragedy of recently losing his older brother.  One of the very few Australian soldiers to be killed in the Vietnam war.

Long story short, but walking home I met him coming out of the bush.  He saw I was upset and started being friendly with me.  He said he knew of a great place we could go swimming and off we went deep into the bush, further than any of us had gone before and took me to this wonderful swimming hole.  He smoked a cigarette, which I thought was really cool and after he finished he stripped off and jumped in the water and swam and taught me to dive and promised me to take me eel fishing the next weekend.  

Out and drying off he casually asked me if I thought his thing was big.  Then he told me he could make it bigger.  I didn't mind, he was nice and he wasn't pushy.  When he asked me to touch it I did, then he touched mine and made it get hard....over the next year we would meet at least once a week.  He brought dirty magazines which he kept stashed under a rock ledge and it was from him that I learned and enjoyed gay sex.  Slowly, comfortably and happily we explored all the different things from the magazines.  At 8 years old I lost my virginity.  It wasn't full penetration, but it was definitely penetration.  Each time we would go a little further.  A year later and I was a willing expert, then his family left and that was that.  But there would be other boys......