DARK DAZE.....(part 1).

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide,
No escape from reality.

Our lives were a mixture of fantasy and reality but the landslide came upon us in April of 1987 and from then on the next 6 months would be a slow, unseen slide into the unknown.  What I could see coming I tried desperately to hide through denial and drugs.

Betty had always been excessive in her use of pills, but somehow had always managed to keep it together.  One Saturday afternoon he arrived at the parlour in a totally psychotic state.  Crying, screaming and terrified of god knows what.
After 20 minutes we decided that no amount of calm talking was making any difference and Matty drove Betty to the nearest hospital.

On his return Matty told us that the doctors said that Betty had a pre-existing mental condition and had been on prescription medication for many years.  I assume these days it would be similar to being bi-polar.  Any the doctors explained that Betty's stopping regular medication and replacing it with an increasing amount of pills and chemicals had triggered a panic attack.  They would keep her in hospital for observation for two days.

Satisfied that Betty was receiving supervised medical attention we continued working that night (albeit in a rather shocked state).  The following morning Matty and I returned home just after 7am - Colin had come in early to do the Sunday shift to allow us to visit Betty in Hospital.  Arriving home we found our elderly neighbour waiting for us outside our gate.

The front door was open, my bedroom windows were open, all the lights were on.....Our neighbour explained that Betty had arrived home in the early hours of the morning in a taxi and had made quite  a disturbance.  Apparently scaring our neighbour enough that he was too afraid to go near the house but had sat up on his front porch since 4am watching our house as it was open and clearly an easy target for burglars.

After thanking him we went inside, closing doors, windows and turning off lights throughout the house.  We found Betty passed out on her bed.  I rang the hospital and they said that he had just walked out sometime in the night, refusing any more help.  Matty was so annoyed that he demanded we take the day off and go for a drive.

Against my better judgement and my worry for leaving Betty alone, I knew Matty was serious and decided a few hours away wouldn't do anyone any harm.  Betty was sleeping like a log, the dog was fed and watered, and it was a beautiful Autumn day - perfect for a drive in the country.

I couldn't have been more wrong.  Our short country trist turned into a 3 hour drive to Canberra where we visited all the sites, had a lovely lunch on the lake front and did all the touristy things.  It was around 2pm and we decided to head back home when Matty detoured and headed for a beautiful looking pine forest on the outskirts of the city.

We had barely parked the car to get out for a walk when out of nowhere a police car arrived and headed straight for us.  I wasn't unduly concerned as for about the only time in years I hadn't even brought a joint with me.  The police officer approached us and asked us what were we doing in the forest and then demanded to search the car.  I should have realised by the look on Matty's face that something was about to happen.

When the police officer opened the car boot I nearly died.  Sitting inside was my leather bag which I knew had all my marijuana inside.  I hadn't put the bag there but found out later that Matty had put it inside as he was worried that Betty might leave the house open again while we were away.  The police officer asked whose bag it was and when I admitted it was mine he made me turn out the contents, including a plastic bag containing 27 foil sticks of marijuana and 1 block of hash.

These he quickly took and returned to his car where he radioed for back up.  Then he handcuffed us both and we were both driven to Canberra Police Headquaters.  Separated and interrogated by numerous police officers.

Having lived so long in Sydney and living in a society where drugs were the norm I had no idea of the trouble I was in.  I freely admitted to owning the drugs but adamantly denied that I had come specifically to Canberra to sell them.  After all the police had told us our every move since entering the city limits so in my mind they knew we had just come as tourists.

I was fairly calm until one of them asked to search me and asked 'is there anything in your pockets that might give me AIDS'?  I told him he was an idiot and obviously knew nothing about contracting the disease.  This didn't go down very well at all.

Worse was to follow.  Other officers arrived and told me that Matty had said in his statement that we had smoked drugs at home before we left and worse still asked me if I knew that Matty was underage!  It turned out that even though he told everyone he was nearly 19, and looked it, he was in fact only 17 years old.  Even I was shocked (and infuriated)!

After I was interrogated for over 3 hours I was eventually charged and fingerprinted.  Possession of illegal drugs, Possession of a Class A drug (the hash), Deem supply of illegal drugs and corruption of a minor!  I was thrown into the police holding cells in a state of total shock and left.

The cell was one of 6.  I had no idea that Matty was in the furthest cell away from me and spent the night crying and shivering.  The cell was unheated and the temperature was about 2 degrees Celsius.  It was so cold that I took the vinyl mattress to cover myself and slept on the bare wooden bed rungs.

In the morning the cell doors were unlocked and I fell into Matty's arms.  He had spent the night in a heated cell with blankets and been given a meal.  When breakfast arrived they gave Matty his - through the security grill.  When I stepped forward to take mine I was told to 'stand back poofter' and then the policeman laughingly dropped my tray onto the floor where my breakfast spilled.

An hour later we were taken up to the courtroom and again placed in a holding cell.  It couldn't have got worse.  That particular weekend was the annual Canberra Drag Car Racing event and the holding cell was full of semi drunk, violent yobbo's (rednecks) who proceeded to torment me verbally, punch me and even kick me - all in full view of the supervising police officer.

When the court defendant finally arrived he immediately demanded that I be released from the communal cell and placed into a separate cell.....I don't think I could have stayed another minute without serious physical injury.

So I was charged with all of the above accounts and thankfully released on bail.  My conditions were that I leave Canberra immediately but report 3 times a week to my local police station until my trial.

Matty wasn't charged. The 3 hour drive home to Sydney took us less than 2 hours.  Thankfully I had some marijuana hidden in my room where I stayed for the remainder of the night, even refusing to talk with Matty.  I didn't care about Betty's condition.  I just wanted to die.  The final words of the police prosecutor had been 'you are looking at a minimum of two years hard labour in a maximum security prison'!  My life of abandon and self pleasure had come crashing down all around me.